Mind the Gap

Updated: Sep 16, 2019

Photo by Ulrike Reinhold

He was already naked when she arrived at his place to meet him for the first time in the flesh.

After 10 days of sexting that made her permanently wet, she knew it would be ON the moment she arrived. Yet she was still so shocked by it all somehow, for many many minutes, before she could finally surrender to what was on offer.

Because when she arrived he was naked. Naked! His cock was hard. He said "Hello" as he tried to kiss her and put his hand on her arse. He wasn't interested in niceties like a polite conversation first. Her heart was beating too fast and part of her wanted to grab her handbag and run back out the door.

Still, she stayed. She freaked out for a while and he waited patiently. And then it was ON, for real.

Something was unleashed in her that day. A wild slut who couldn’t get enough. A part of her she'd never met before.

It was intense and fiery and fierce. She felt passionate and free. It was hot. So hot. She felt so hot.

It made her hungry for more. All of a sudden she felt famished, as if she’d never been fed, and this is all she wanted now, the only thing that could satisfy her. It scared her. It terrified her.

Afterwards, she felt like she was coming down from a drug. It was as if she'd entered an altered state of consciousness with him. She told herself it was wrong. Not healthy. That she shouldn’t see him again. That there was nothing liberating about it. That sex should only be about expressing love in a committed partnership.

Her resistance hurt as it filed sharply against the edges of her longing. Still, she vowed never to see him again.

Later, filled with the defiance of judgment and fear, she told him she didn’t know why they were even having a conversation about the possibility of seeing one another again.

“Because we both like it,” he said. “Except only one of us accepts it”.

Fair call, she thought.

She started to see the gap between who she thought she was and who she really is. She knew that gap is one of the biggest sources of pain for a human being.

And in that gap was a slut. A wild and free and hungry slut.

A slut who’d been shoved down in the dark and hidden away because she wasn’t good or nice or proper or any of the other things an acceptable woman is expected to be.

A slut who contained immense power and even nourishment for her, and delivered loads of pleasure, energy, joy and even radiance. A sacred slut. A sacred slut whose eyes sparkled and skin glowed.

She decided to own this part of herself in the interests of becoming more whole, and having a lot more fun.

She lived happily ever after.

And yes, she did see him again.

The end.


We live in a world filled with sexual shame. We receive all sorts of confusing messages about what sexy is and isn’t, and what’s acceptable and isn’t.

Women who enjoy their bodies and express their pleasure are called sluts. I have a problem with the word "slut" being derogatory.

"Slut" might trigger something in you. You might think it's a terrible word, and that you wouldn't want to be called a slut. That's absolutely understandable given our conditioning in our patriarchal culture.

The problem I have is that if we don't claim the parts of us that have been stuffed down and hidden away, because they're deemed unfit for expression, it means we're not operating in our full feminine power. It means we're missing out on so much pleasure, vitality, radiance, joy - and fun.

If you haven’t already awakened the slut archetype within you, and you choose to, you’ll be astonished by the power she contains for you.

The way you choose to access her doesn't necessarily have to be through a sexual experience with another person. You can put on music and dance erotically, on your own, in your bedroom. Or you can express her in a safe, sacred space with a person or people you trust.

The slut is simply about confidence, playfulness, sexual liberation and permission.

She’s your wild woman. She’s so powerful. And so much fun.

Claim your slut. Then you can have more of all of that for yourself.

* Please share this article with a woman you feel would benefit. Let's walk this path of our truth and power together, and support other women to do the same.


Tricia Karp is a sacred femininity teacher. She stands for our pain, silence, rage and disconnection… and our beauty, authenticity, sensuality, truth and pleasure as the path home. Tricia offers private coaching programs and retreats for women in Bali, where she lives with her teenage daughter.

#powerfulwoman #shadow #slut #sacredfeminine #tantra #taotantra #tantrateacher #triciakarp

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